Returning to work

I returned to work the day that Neil turned 12 weeks. It was definitely a huge adjustment for both Neil and me. It was also really hard for me to be away from him. If you think about it, he's been with me pretty much all the time since he was born (only a few times when he wasn't) and before that he was inside me for 9 months. I know some of that doesn't really count but for about half of that I could feel him kicking, when he had hiccups, etc.

Dave drops Neil off at daycare and I pick him up. We chose a daycare that was close to our house for that reason. My work does offer a daycare but it's not in my building, and the other building is about 10 minutes away (one way).

I started work on a Tuesday, so the day before Dave and I did a trial run to test out getting ready in the morning when we're both working. I'm so glad we did that, it helped with logistics and not feeling as stressed the first day I actually went back. Dave took a vacation day and we celebrated our 5th anniversary as well (which was the Friday before).

The first week back was interesting, trying to adjust to having more to do in the morning. The 2nd day we both went to work, Dave locked himself out of the house and I learned that I better start carrying my cell phone around. Poor Dave spent 20 minutes trying to call me to ask me to come home and unlock the door. Thank goodness he didn't lock Neil inside the house so at least they were together. I lost my badge trying to juggle all the bags and Neil after picking him up from daycare. It took digging over the weekend but I finally found it wedged in my car.

I think the worst part about returning to work is pumping. I haven't talked too much about breastfeeding or anything that goes along with that on this blog before. I suppose I probably should have but I wasn't really sure I wanted to talk about that type of stuff. I have been exclusively breastfeeding Neil since he was born. I wasn't sure I'd do it until I did it. But it really is a huge bonding experience and it's pretty cool to think that my body is giving him all the nutrition he needs.

Anyway, pumping is a big pain. Nursing was painful at first until my body got used to it, and pumping was the same way. It took me about a week or so to get used to pumping 4 times a day. I usually pump in the morning before I leave for work, and then I pump 3 times at work. They do have a dedicated room at work and I have to say they have listened to my requests. Since I've started using the room, they've made the light switch work and then changed it to on/off (I just requested that the lights would actually turn on which they didn't at first). Having it on/off is nice if you just want to close your eyes and rest for the 15 minutes of pumping. They also added a paper towel dispenser and a garbage. The room itself is pretty sparse- it just has a chair and a fridge with a tiny table that barely fits the pump. I've also requested another table (I actually asked if I could bring one in and they said they would supply one). I heard that someone else will be using the room as well and I've been letting the pump parts dry on the top of the fridge in between sessions.

On the flip side, though, the room is right next to the doorway to the stairs and it has a pane of frosted glass so you definitely see shadows and hear a lot of noise- heels clicking, people talking, etc. That can be very distracting and makes me feel a bit like I'm out in public (and uncomfortable). It also is a conference room on one end of a group of conference rooms. The bathroom and sink are on the other end. So every time I rinse off parts, etc., I have to walk across there. I've had a number of people look at what's in my hands (I work with mostly men) and look away as they realize what I have and what I was just doing. That makes me uncomfortable too. I'm sure I'll develop tough skin over time though.

The other pain is getting into the room. The security guard has a key and only one key. You have to sign it out and they will not let you sign it out for the whole day. For now I'm the only one in the room and I gave them my cell phone number, but they still won't let me have it for the whole day. If everything was on the same floor, it wouldn't be too bad but I'm on the 3rd floor, the guard is on the 1st floor at the entrance, and the lactation room is on the 2nd floor. So every single time I have to walk down to the 1st floor to walk back up to the 2nd floor, pump, walk back down to the 1st floor and walk back up to the 3rd floor. Just writing this makes me sound whiny but believe me when you have to do this 3 times a day and you already feel a bit awkward about the whole thing... I keep saying when I'm done with all this I'm having a celebratory lunch.

It's also been an adjustment getting Neil to eat enough at daycare. Left on his own, he wasn't eating enough and then would want to eat every hour or two at home with me. Talk about not being able to do anything else! :) I have found that I pump between 15 and 18 ounces at work when I pump three times a day. Daycare at one point only gave him 8 ounces, so he definitely wasn't getting what he would get if I was nursing him. So I asked them to make sure they give him 3 bottles each day, which for the most part they have now been doing. And I was putting 4 ounces in each bottle and giving them 4 bottles, but now I put 5 ounces in the first 3 bottles and the 4th bottle has whatever is extra, just in case he gets hungry. They typically feed him the 3 5-oz bottles. This seems to be working well for us.

Ok that's enough talk about pumping and breast milk. Ha.

I was hoping that I would get more exercise in now that I'm at work but so far that's not working. I get everything ready the night before so that I can be faster in the morning and not forget anything I need. And it just feels like anymore I just don't have any time except on the weekends. I'm sure as I get used to this, it will get better. So I haven't exercised once since returning to work (and it's been 2 weeks as I write this). Although I have to say, I am getting it at work running up and down the stairs to pump, haha. My weight had drifted up a few pounds and after 2 weeks back at work it is back at 3 pounds above pre-pregnancy weight. That just seems to be about where my body has settled on its own.

Speaking of my body, the other surprising thing is my work clothes. I can't wear any of my old pants. Even though I'm pretty much back to where I was weight wise, I guess my body is shaped differently. And it's not just my stomach area, which is what I would have expected. It seems to be my butt and hips as well. I keep reading online that it took 9 months for your body to adjust out so you really need to give it 9 months for it to adjust back. I am crossing my fingers that by the end of 6 months from now (November) I will be in all my old work pants. But I went to the store the weekend before I returned to work and I have 3 new pairs of pants in a bigger size that work for now.

Neil has adjusted well to daycare and seems to be really happy there from what we can tell. It can be hard because he doesn't talk or anything. When I pick him up I always say hi and he doesn't really respond a whole lot. They usually already have him in his car seat and ready to go.

The only other thing to talk about is Neil's sleeping. He has definitely regressed. But we can't figure out what it is. When they weren't feeding him more than 2 bottles, it was that he was hungry. Then he caught a cold (which he gave to me) so it could be that. It could also be reflux because when we upped his dosage last time that's when he started actually sleeping through the night. Or it could just be that he's adjusting. I guess time will tell with this one but I can't wait until Dave and I both get a good night's sleep again.