Five Months

I keep thinking I'll catch up but so far since returning to work I just haven't been able to. I'm trying to keep at least the monthly posts going though!

Playing around before taking the monthly pictures

Nathan is more active, and reaching to grab things. He loves chewing on things and grabbing his feet. He also will just grab at anything including hair. Neil HATES that. He grabs his hair back and we try to explain that Nathan doesn't realize he's hurting anyone when he grabs. And boy does he have a grip. When he grabs my hair it's hard to get him to let go.

Grabbing his feet!

Sleep has been just awful. I looked at my notes and Nathan did much better when I first went back to work around 3 months. Since he hit what I thought might be the 4 month regression at about 3 and a half months, he tends to only sleep in 2-3 hour chunks and this is just wearing on me. So just last night we are starting to let him cry. My only hesitation is whether or not he's hungry. I think he might need to eat once at night. I can usually tell if he ate because he will nurse really well for about 10 minutes and then zonk out and go in the crib really easily. When he isn't really eating, he doesn't really eat, kinda dozes off every so often, and it can take me easily an hour to get him back into his crib and asleep. Also, there have been times Dave has given him a bottle and he just doesn't want it.

With the crying, we are talking to him and explaining that it's bedtime, time to sleep. Then Dave goes in at intervals if he continues to cry. We've only done this one night so far and I wonder if me sometimes nursing, sometimes not, is going to just confuse him. But honestly it needs to be done for my sanity (and Dave's too I think). The sleep deprivation is just killing me at this point. I am having a lot of trouble focusing and just in general thinking, memorizing, etc. I don't even catch up on weekends because Neil is up bright and early.

Daycare is still going well- they tell me what a great sleeper and happy kid he is. And he is really happy around us too. He loves to play peek a boo, definitely knows his name, and I think knows who mommy, daddy, and Neil are. At daycare they say he's not really on a schedule but in a routine depending on when he gets up for the day (which is still not consistent). He sleeps, then wakes up, diaper change, eats, then plays for a bit, and then sleeps. At daycare he eats every 2-3 hours or so. They say it varies but is consistent each day. So, for example, if he seems more hungry than usually he consistently eats every 2 hours on one day but the next he consistently eats every 3 hours.

Nathan has discovered more sounds and says the "h" and "m" for sure. I need to pay more attention but he babbles quite a bit. I think we have another chatterbox on our hands!

We are still messing with the bedtime routine in attempts to get him to sleep longer at night and also because sometimes he just won't go down at night and I need to get to sleep since I get up early. Generally though we change both Neil and Nathan into pajamas at the same time, then read books to Neil and whoever is not reading holds Nathan and lets him watch as much as he wants to. Neil goes to bed, and I walk downstairs and nurse Nathan. He always falls asleep. We put him in the crib after he's asleep. Sometimes he wakes up pretty quickly after that; other times he sleeps for a few hours. (Yes this means I do not get any time to myself yet. I try to go to bed most nights when I put him in the crib the first time and if he wakes up I nurse him in bed and get him back in the crib again.)

Nathan still doesn't seem to want the wubbanub. He prefers to sleep with a blanket but he pulls it over his head so I don't want him to have that in his crib overnight. It's ok at daycare where someone is watching. So I'm also trying to figure out what I can give him or do to give him some comfort. (We've tried things that smell like me.) It seems like what he really wants is something up against his face.

Even with all the sleep troubles though, he definitely can go to sleep on his own and does. He seems to do that more during the day and when he wakes up from naps even at home during the day, he doesn't cry. I walk in and he's awake just content. For some reason at night though when he wakes up he does seem to cry. I would think it would be the opposite since it's dark at night, which should signal sleepiness.

Nursing and pumping are going well. Nathan still gets 3 5oz bottles at daycare. I actually pump more than that so I'm continuing to build a freezer stash and have donated some milk to another mom in need. Nathan is still distracted nursing so sometimes I walk away to nurse him in peace and quiet. He likes to look up at me as he nurses, and of course grab my hair. :)

Nathan still likes to stand and loves both his jumper and exersaucer. He also really loves his brother and will smile at Neil pretty easily most of the time (which really makes Neil happy as well). I am also experimenting with letting him "sit" on his own. He doesn't sit up straight but leans forward and bit and eventually ends up laying on the floor but he does seem to like it. Part of the problem is that he is fascinated with his feet so he's leaning forward to grab them with his hands.

I already talked about myself and sleep deprivation. On a more positive note, I am definitely below pre-pregnancy weight before both kids. (Actually I'm 4 pounds above my overall goal weight, which I haven't been able to achieve as long as I have really weighed myself consistently and tracked it.) My pants are falling down. I am going to pull out my pre-pregnancy work pants again and hopefully they will work. I'll be surprised if they don't at this point. I think weight is still distributed a bit differently, and I'd like to get back into some kind of exercise because it also helps me mentally. Work is good- the job change has been interesting to coincide with pregnancy and having a baby. Hormones have been pretty hard to deal with but for the most part I'm able to keep it in check while at work. I do miss having friends around but I know that will come with time as well. But I am definitely getting more comfortable at work, getting to know people better, etc. The job itself is something I do like to do and get excited about and that's always a good thing or it can make getting up every day hard.

Clothing: 3-6 months in most closthes, 6 months in Carter's brand. We aren't putting him in pants or shorts really- sometimes the one piece outfits.
Diapers: Size 2
Shoes: None yet
Weight: I weighed him at about 16 pounds.
Height: I do not measure this until I can get them to stand. No doctor's visit so no height.

4 Months

It's amazing how quickly babies grow. Nathan has grown both physically and developmentally this past month. Where is my baby going?!?!

They say that the rate of growth will drop after this, but I know it will still be really fast. The big thing for us this month is rolling. Nathan is definitely rolling. He seems to prefer to roll from back to front. He doesn't really seem to roll from front to back. I just think he doesn't like to be on his back very much. He has been rolling to his side pretty quickly even at 3 months, when we put him on the floor, but now he most definitely rolls right away to his stomach, lifts his head up, and looks around.

Because of that we stopped swaddling at night cold turkey. I found him one morning flipped over and smushed into the corner of a crib and worried about doing that and not being able to breathe. That made for a very hard transition for us sleepwise. I hope that was the dreaded 4 month regression- it happened at about 3 and a half months. We'll see. He went from consistently waking up once per night to nurse, to waking up at least 3 times- every 1.5 hours. It drove me crazy.

Along with this leap he is also much more attentive, looks around a lot more, likes to play peek-a-boo, and grabs things with his hands now. He had discovered his hands a few weeks ago but now he will actually take toys in his hand. They go straight to his mouth (no surprise there).

Uh oh, already discovering the sticker

Nathan is trying to mimic noises and at the point that I can have a "conversation" with him. I say something or ask a question, and he babbles a little. Then I respond, he babbles more, and so on. I love this. I love this age. He's starting to get more alert but also cuddles and falls asleep in your arms.

He was getting tired of pictures

Sleeping wise, we still don't have a pattern yet, with naps or anything. On the weekends I now put him in his crib to nap but it's not on a schedule yet. It's just when he falls asleep; wherever he is I take him upstairs. Bedtime routine is a bit harder because we also have Neil, but Nathan seems to go to bed between 8-9 and usually closer to 8. I think he could handle an earlier bedtime but then that means I don't get to be a part of Neil's bedtime so we haven't moved Nathan up yet. I tried once to move Nathan up to around 7 but that was too much of a jump or something and it made him stay up even later than usual.

So bedtime "routine" if you can call it that, is bath (with Neil often) as necessary, then change diaper, then read with Neil as part of his routine, and there is sometimes nursing in there if Nathan is impatient. Then Nathan comes downstairs with us and we try to read cues. When it seems like he's not quite so alert, we put him in pajamas (used to swaddle, now we don't), I nurse him, and we put him in his crib. Some nights Dave holds him downstairs while I go to bed and others I just take him up myself.

It's hard to get him looking and whoever else is in the picture not looking bored. ;)

Nathan is a really happy baby. He loves to smile and laugh, and wow does he stick his tongue out. If you play peek a boo he seems to really like that. He's also drooling whole lot and chewing on things and his hands. We tried a wubbanub but he doesn't seem to care for it yet. It might not be a bad thing if he never wants it.

Sometimes when he wakes up he'll go back to sleep on his own.. That's why I assume if he's crying in the middle of the night that he's actually hungry and I nurse him. He consistently goes about 10 minutes (other than the regression I talked about above) and then I can get him back in the crib. So I shouldn't really complain. I have to say, I'm tired, but that mommy instinct is still there. I often am at his crib picking him up before I even know what I'm doing (i.e. I'm sleeping, hear him crying, and react without fully waking up right away).

I couldn't resist this one, both with hands in the mouth!

Eating wise, it's still nursing minus the bottles at daycare. I'm also ok with Dave giving a bottle but try to avoid that. This time around I'm much more comfortable nursing in public. However, Nathan is getting distracted so I nurse in the car at times just to get him to actually eat instead of looking around at everything.

Nathan prefers to stand at times. Sometimes he fusses but he just doesn't want to be laying down. So we either hold him upright or put him in the bumbo or jumper. We're also at the point we take the bumbo to restaurants to let him sit in it because he doesn't want to sit in the infant car seat.

Clothing: I am just now cleaning out his drawers for onesies and pajamas and moving him to 3-6 months or 6 months in Carter's brand. His pants are still 0-3 months although with the heat we're really going more with shorts or no pants.
Diapers: Size 2
Shoes: None yet
Weight: I will have to add this later
Height: I will have to add this later.

3 months

Once again I started back at work after maternity leave and it's even harder this time to get on the computer outside of work, with two kids. I'm so exhausted at this point that after I get Nathan to sleep I literally crash in bed. I am hoping to write a separate back to work post but it may be a bit before I get to that.

Nathan is now 3 months and growing so fast. He's got the chubby cheeks and legs. It's really funny what you forget- things I thought Nathan did that Neil didn't, I go back and read Neil's 3 month post and realize I said the EXACT same thing. Not everything is the same but I'm surprised at how much and just how much you do forget. That's why it's nice to write this down.

Nathan loves to smile and stick out his tongue. He's been sticking out his tongue since he could. He also really likes his mobile in the crib so hopefully we are going to have two kids who love music! I sing songs to him too and so does Neil. Nathan is sucking a lot especially on his hands and doesn't really take a pacifier (yet, we told daycare it was ok if it was necessary- they have 2 adults for 8 babies and I just can't imagine how they do it).

The drooling has picked up as well but there are no signs of teeth yet.

Nathan is doing mini crunches- he really wants to sit up. Sometimes he fusses and what he wants is to be standing (held during of course). I have started to put him in the Bumbo for a few minutes at a time and that seems to make him really happy as well. At daycare they are putting him in an exersaucer so I'd like to pull out our jumper for him.

He also really likes the activity frame but rolls to the side immediately and circles around, so we walk away and come back into him facing the opposite way.

Nathan is not really on a schedule but we're working on it. I've found that he goes to sleep somewhere between 8-9pm. The only real bedtime routine is swaddling; we put his pajamas on often when Neil is getting ready for bed (around 7pm). I do nurse him to sleep and then hand him off to Dave who puts him in bed. I was wondering if he shouldn't be swaddled because he seems to struggle in it at times but we tried it once (ha here's a "see Neil's 3 month post" because I said the exact same thing) and I do think he still sleeps better when swaddled even though his startle reflex has gone away. With that said though he really gets his arms out by morning.

Sleep is sporadic. He has slept through the night but it's not predictable. We'll have one night where he'll go 8 hours straight sleeping and then the next he's up every 3 hours. This has made especially going back to work hard on me. I'm really tired, especially because Neil is always up at the same time so even on the weekends there isn't any catching up on sleep like I was able to do with Neil.

I have to say though that Nathan does go to sleep for the night by 9 (for his "long" sleep however long that is). Neil did not do this- I would go to bed but Dave would put him in his crib but that never happened until at least 11. So when Neil was 5-6 months we did sleep training and then were able to move his bedtime up. I think that spoiled me- I actually got more sleep with Neil when I went back to work than I did with Nathan. I guess they are probably both sleeping about the same amount but I counted it as sleeping through the night with Neil because I got a full night's sleep most of the time. Nathan though is much more sporadic and doesn't consistently sleep a certain number of hours.

Nathan is also able to go to sleep somewhat on his own. At daycare they make sure he goes in the pack n play partly awake so hopefully that will help as well. We are trying to establish a nap and feeding schedule but we're really only a week and a half into being in daycare so we aren't there yet. I wasn't able to establish a schedule before other than bedtime.

The shadows in this picture are awful but I love the looks on both of their faces so I'm posting it anyways.

So work/daycare wise right now I am sending in 3 bottles with about 5 oz of milk to daycare. I pump around 4:30am and then give Dave a 5 oz bottle to feed Nathan whenever he wakes up (and I also nurse whenever he wakes up before 4:30am so my output from that first pump changes based on that). Then daycare gets the 3 bottles but so far Nathan seems to only be drinking the first two. I do pump 3 times at work, 3 hours apart, and am consistently getting 15-16 ounces so I'm thinking that's what Nathan should be drinking but he also gets the bottle with Dave so maybe he doesn't need the 3rd bottle at daycare. Also, I nurse him at daycare when I pick him up around 3-3:30 (closer to 3:30 most days). They hold him off for me so that he's hungry when I get there. Nursing in the evening there is defintiely not a routine right now.

Two months

Just a quick update beyond 8 weeks- when we were in Pittsburgh, Nathan slept over 8 hours one night so that's a start. It was only one night and since then it's sporadic. He caught a cold and went back to 3-4 hours a night, which was really wearing for me.

Note this post will be updated with stats after Nathan's doctor visit but I wanted this to post in May for future reference. This paragraph will be deleted along with those updates.

Stats:
Weight: To be added
Height: To be added
Diaper Size: Size 1
Clothing Size: 0-3 months (3 months in Carters brand)
Shoe Size: N/A

Must have baby items

It varies from baby to baby, definitely, but I think every mom has a list of the items she couldn't live without when dealing with a newborn.

I thought I did a post like this with Neil but I'm not finding it on my blog so I think I meant to and never finished it. So this takes into consideration both kids but here are my top 4 baby items/must haves.

Itz Been Timer (or a phone app can work too but I love the timer itself)

I really like this timer at night and for breastfeeding. There are other features on it I don't use at all. It basically tracks the amount of time since the last ___. The last time they ate, when they fell asleep (or when they woke up depending on when you push the button), the last diaper change, or there is a 4th button to use as you see fit. Basically when you feed them, change diaper, etc., you just hit the button on the side and it starts a timer, that will count up to 24 hours. It doesn't tally or keep track of how many times you've done it, so that's where a phone app would be better. But for me, and nursing, it does two things. In the middle of the night I can glance at it and see oh it's been _ hours since he last ate so he's fussing and probably hungry right now. And it also has a button that you slide left/right so it tells me immediately which side to nurse on next.

The other thing I like about it is that at the top if you push the button it's a night light that lasts for about 5 minutes. I use it to navigate in the dark as well as see what's around me and/or help navigate the baby to latch on.

I used this religiously with Neil. I still use it with Nathan but when I'm using the phone application I don't want to use both and I only use the phone application. BUT I still have the timer because I use the light feature.

Ring Sling/Babywearing

I love baby wearing. I have a Maya Wrap ring sling that I got on ebay when we had Neil. It has a zipup pocket on the side that I can put things in. The ring sling allows your baby to be close but your hands can be free. I can use it in the newborn stage if I frog leg them into the pocket it creates. With Neil I used it to go to some sporting events that were chilly, and put a big coat around both of us. With both of them, they love being up close to me and just sleep in it for awhile. Also, with Neil I actually did nurse a few times with it on. I'm buying a Tula now. First so I can nurse easier in that- I can do it in the ring sling but only on one side now. Second for continuing to babywear Neil once Dave can use a regular carrier for Nathan.

This did take someone teaching me how to use it but once I got the hang of it, it was great. I also did a side toddler hold with Neil when he got a bit older.

Rock N Play

If you asked me during I wouldn't have noted this one for Neil. Lots of parents love it to use at night because it kind of cradles your baby and elevates them, both of which seem to help a lot of babies to sleep better. After looking back with Neil though, we did use the Rock N Play when we traveled somewhere and stayed in a hotel and it worked great. We also used it during the day, and you can rock it really easily by just reaching your hand out and nudging it. With Nathan, so far, I'm using it as a bassinet and it is where he spends his first sleep of the night which tends to also be his longest. It lets me get some sleep in bed (other than that Nathan is so darn noisy).

Cloth diaper inserts

Even though we don't use cloth diapers, these things are awesome for using as burp cloths. We  used this with my brother when he was a baby. I haven't gotten to the non-baby point but my mom also used them as dust rags after we were done with them and they worked really well for that too.

8 weeks

This will be my last weekly post- I'll switch over to monthly from now on. Babies still grow and develop a whole lot the entire first year but I'm having some trouble keeping up and I'll be back at work in 4 weeks anyways so I'm going to switch to monthly at this point.

The biggest thing I've noticed is that now sometimes Nathan cries because he's getting bored. He wants to see things now. It used to be if he cried it was diaper, hungry, or sleepy. Now add bored. It's kind of nice; sometimes to get him to stop crying we can just turn him around to see something else. He's starting to stare at ceiling fans (that are running) and respond when I sing to him. It's really nice.

He's still really gassy, so we started gas drops to see if that will help. I try to make sure I burp him if it seems like he needs it. He doesn't burp most of the time but when he does it's usually pretty good. He was also having poopy diapers every time (just a little bit each time) and now most of his diapers are just pee. This is nice; he was pretty red most of the time and we were using Triple Paste on him but now when he poops he POOPS. He also likes to go as soon as we take the dirty diaper off. Go figure.

Sleep wise he is definitely settling into a pattern. Our big bedtime routine thing is to swaddle him and he goes to sleep when I nurse him (which is pretty typical). Then Dave puts him in the crib and he seems to last about 5-6 hours on average, total sleep. Since I've nursed him etc I don't get quite that much sleep but I try to get up to bed asap so I can maximize how long I can sleep. Also, when he wakes up he doesn't tend to cry. He's VERY hungry but the sounds he makes tend to be more gas related from what I can tell. So I wonder if we can help with the gas if he'll go longer. After that long span he is more sporadic; sometimes he will go 3-4 more hours but most of the time it's 1-2 from then on out. He also seems to have a wake period around 3-4am, which I am still finding annoying. I'm also nervous about how work is going to be- I was getting up very early and I'm kind of hoping I can handle things like I did with Neil. I would pump before work and Dave gave him a bottle before daycare. Nursing just takes a lot longer and means I'll have to be up even earlier. Before I had Nathan I was actually leaving my house around 5:20 or so.

Oh and with this sleep pattern I'm not on the couch anymore! The long stretch and the first sleep period after we leave him swaddled and in the crib. Then I unswaddle him but put him in the rock n play next to me for the rest of the night. I love being able to sleep in my own bed all night.

At 7 weeks I forgot the stats and just gave approximates at the last minute before the blog post went live. Here are more specific stats. These are from the last 7 days. The sleep period is probably still too short because I don't catch all the little cat naps. The nursing period is pretty close; although I do stop it when he falls asleep on me. He often stays latched and will keep sucking every so often but I don't count that because he's asleep. If I did the time would be WAY longer.

Sleeping: Average time is 15 hrs 11 minutes each day (63% of the day). Longest duration this past week was 6 hours 25 minutes.
Feeding: Average time spent nursing is 3 hrs 38 minutes a day. Average number of times is 22 a day; 11.4 times on the left side and 10.3 times on the right side. 3 bottles this past week. 2.5 oz, 3 oz, and 3 oz.
Diapers: 10.5 diapers with pee per day. 1.7 diapers with poop per day. (Those can be both pee/poop; it doesn't distinguish that in the application.)

7 weeks

First, yay for sleeping! I don't want to jinx it but sleep is much better. One night Nathan slept over 4 hours which meant I got an additional hour of sleep in my own bed. It's amazing when you start going on little sleep how much of a difference just an hour can make. Then the following night he went 3 hours as usual. We actually got him back in the crib though and I ended up waking him 3 hours later because I felt so full (had to feed him). I put him in the Rock N Play next to the bed where he continued to sleep for another 2 hours only waking for me to change his diaper and feed him again. This included Neil being in our room and jostling the Rock N Play several times. So maybe he is starting to have a solid sleep through the night but it's shifted too late. We had this same issue with Neil. Maybe we can start moving up bedtime now that we know though; keep him up a little later than we do now and start his bedtime routine later? Once this pattern started, I was able to stay in bed the whole night and since then I went downstairs one night around 4:15am but otherwise I'm trying to stay in bed.

Please mom, no more tummy time. I'm tired.

Which leads me to the next issue; Nathan is super super gassy. He grunts constantly now but seems to sleep through most of it. That's good for him but not for me, because most of the time when he grunts it wakes me up, even when he's in the crib in the other room. Dave seems to think Neil was this gassy as well and that it got better with time. So I'm crossing my fingers... I wonder with Neil if the reflux medicine is what did the trick. We started him on medicine for that at 2 months and he immediately started actually sleeping through the night (8 hours at a time).

Nathan isn't really choking anymore. One day he choked and mucus came out (yuck, on me). Since then he hasn't been choking so much so it must have been from his cold.

We went to the beach so this was Nathan's first time at the beach. I bought a beach tent on the way but had the two kids by myself (for the first time for me) and didn't know how to put it up so even though I carried it I didn't try. I ended up putting Nathan in the ring sling after nursing him and putting a hat over so he wouldn't be exposed to the sun. Nathan didn't even notice where we were; he slept pretty much the entire time.

Nathan is holding his head up really well so I tried the bumbo. It's still too early but surprisingly he actually did sit in it. I didn't get really good pictures though because he was moving around too much.

We still do tummy time but he isn't really rolling like he was. I also put him under the activity frame quite a bit more and he seems to like it for a limited time. He grabs a few toys when we put them in his hands (rings) and sometimes when he cries he really just wants to be sitting up so he can look around at what's going on. That's very pleasant; to have it not be either diaper, food, or sleep.

I was cleared at my 6 week visit for all exercise! I do have separation of my abs and am monitoring it to see about possibly going for physical therapy for that. I should have after Neil. I went for my first run! But I haven't run since then just due to time and having both Neil and Nathan. I do have the jogging stroller but can't put Nathan in it unless he can sit and hold his own head up (so around 6 months probably). This will be interesting, fitting runs in. I did 1 mile but had walked 3-4 miles before that at a local park, and my calves hurt the next day.

I also figured I would add some stats. I have been using an app on my phone to track nursing, diaper changes, and sleeping. Nursing is probably pretty close to correct but I miss a lot of cat naps or little naps with Nathan so the sleep time is on the low side. But according to the app I nurse on average about 4 hours a day (23 times although that's really more like 12 since each side is a separate entry and often I nurse both sides back to back). Nathan sleeps 14 and a half hours a day. I think he's more around 16 at least, I just miss a lot of naps. 

6 weeks

Ok we are definitely seeing smiling and alert periods from Nathan. I remember with Neil reading that they will only be awake for an hour at a time but Nathan seems to be awake in longer spurts than that. He also seems to be developing a pattern although he does sleep a lot. He has an awake period around 4am or so, which I try to ignore. If I close my eyes it sometimes helps him go back to sleep.

Then he has another awake period around 7am or 8am. I try to feed him around 9am and then he seems to take a really long nap for a few hours. It worried me at first, because I thought he was flipping nights and days. But so far KNOCK ON WOOD he still is somewhat kinda sleeping at night. He really doesn't do any long spurts which sucks for me, nursing. Anyway, so he usually wakes up now between noon and 1, nurses, and then is awake for just a short period and takes another long nap. Then he has another awake period in the evening around when Neil goes to bed (7pm). I'm watching for patterns so maybe I read into this too much at this point. We'll see with my update next week.

So sleep wise it's more of the same. There seems to be cluster feeding in the evening. The La Leche League leader said he's not actually getting a lot of milk; he's using me to settle down (which is okay). When he's done cluster nursing he sleeps for his longest period, which is 3 hours typically. That is NOT long enough. But that is when I actually get to sleep in my own bed. That is heavenly. Dave takes Nathan downstairs as necessary but seems to be able to get him into the crib and then I get him when he wakes up, to nurse him. I sleep my best in my own bed with Nathan in a different room. I can hear him starting to cry but don't hear all the little grunts and other weird noises he makes constantly.

I have tried several times to cosleep in our bed but I just can't do it. They say don't sleep in a recliner or couch with a baby because they could get trapped in the side and suffocate. That is definitely scary to think about. But it's also the only way I can sleep after his 3 hour "long" sleep. So I still generally move to the recliner. I feel like I can prop my arms up on the sides and he's between them, so that's the only way I can actually fall asleep. And I really only doze. I'm such a light sleeper I wake up if/when he moves. He also seems to be quieter and sleep better in my arms. Go figure.

He continues to roll over when I put him on his stomach. Although the doctor said that doesn't count, I think once he realizes he can do it on purpose it's going to happen constantly. Even on his back he tends to go to one side or the other.

Nathan is also pretty gassy, which is normal for infants. I think that it takes time for their bodies to grow into everything. We do bicycle legs, etc., quite a bit. And sometimes it's just a matter of letting them grunt; it must make them feel better or get the gas out. But both Neil and Nathan have done it.

Newborns are hard. No way around it. From talking to friends when I was going through this with Neil, it just kind of seems like in general it gets worse and worse until you hit 6 weeks and then it starts to get better. I do not want to jinx it but I don't think it has really gotten worse. And in general, a baby second time around is much easier. It's not easy, but easier. We know more what to expect, even if we forgot. And we're a bit calmer, more relaxed, which I think helps. I can already see Nathan interacting more and I'm just looking forward to watching him develop into a little person. I look at Neil and can't even imagine what Nathan is going to be like when he's at Neil's age! And I am so looking forward to being there for all this. I do hope we're on the upswing now.

One thing I have never mentioned is that Nathan chokes quite a bit. The doctor said babies this young don't cough or choke... so I have to admit I'm a bit concerned about it. I googled and it could be from getting milk too fast but he doesn't choke during nursing; it's at other random times. The doctor mentioned reflux, which Neil had, but Nathan doesn't really spit up much. He rarely does. So I don't know. I'm going to bring this up at his 2 month appointment again. It's a bit scary when he just randomly starts choking.

5 weeks

We think Nathan smiled! It can still be from gas but we really do think he looked right at both of us separately and smiled.

Nathan has a lot more alert periods and is alert for longer at a time. He is starting to look around at the environment and seem interested in what's in the room around us. In fact, he will fuss for a little bit until we move him and then he starts looking around and stops fussing. Sometimes I think he just wants to see what's around.

Nathan rolled from front to back again but he was ticked off during tummy time so I didn't make him try again. And the rolling was from him kicking and clawing around because he didn't want to be on his stomach. Go figure. We did mention this when we took him for his one month appointment at the pediatrician and she said it doesn't count because he didn't do it intentionally. So I guess that answers that! Not rolling yet.

We swapped the nursery and our room this week. We really did it because the nursery was in the "master" bedroom and adjoined to the bathroom that Dave and I use most of the time. This way we can use the bathroom and not be walking through the nursery once Nathan is in the crib. Now our room is smaller but the nursery can take some of the toys and it actually is nice to put toys in there so Nathan and Neil can play. My only concern is that now Nathan's and Neil's rooms share a wall so Nathan might be more likely to wake Neil up. Time will tell.

Nathan is also starting to grip things. He really likes to grab my hair now and doesn't let go. I'm pretty sure he doesn't realize those are his hands but he definitely has a little grip there. He's also much more expressive with his face- sticking out his tongue, making faces, etc. And he's starting to coo/talk. I love it.

Sleep is still hard. Nathan really seems to want to be in one of our arms all the time and because of Neil needing attention and the fact that I'm the one who does the nursing, it usually ends up being me by default. (I do feel a bit bad because Dave holds Nathan a lot less than he held Neil at this age and I hope he's not upset about that.) I don't have a lot of updates from last week on sleep.

So I feel like I say this all the time but I have to say it again (as a preface). In social media we all tend to just talk about the good things and it projects these false images of who we all are and how things are really going. Granted, who wants to air dirty laundry or whatever and it's a big downer to constantly hear all the negative stuff as well. But I try really hard, while keeping out maybe the more personal stuff, I try to keep it real and be honest and up front as much as possible. If anything I just don't talk about things that are too personal or whatever. With that said, and hopefully Neil/Nathan don't somehow come across this someday and take this the wrong way. But I've come to this realization that it's really getting wearing. It's worth it, don't get me wrong. But I'm feeling pretty tired right now of having to always give, give, give. To have a little person who just constantly needs. With the nursing, as much as I love the bonding experience, there are just times I want to get away from it. I want to go to dinner and not be nursing in a restaurant. Nathan at this point nurses so often in the evening that I can't even say here Dave, here's a bottle, I'm going to just get an hour to myself all by myself. Or for that matter, here babysitter, I want a date with my husband. Yes, there can be ways around it- a stay at home date with Dave maybe. Etc. But there are definitely times I'm feeling selfish and tired of being selfless and always putting someone else in front of me. Is this something a parent does? ABSOLUTELY. I also recognize that there are so many people out there struggling for whatever reason who would give anything to be in this position. I was there at one point. It does make me hesitate saying some of this but this is reality. It's the way it is. It's normal. It doesn't mean I don't want either kid. But yes sometimes I mourn the life before. You never realize what you have until it's not there. The grass is always greener. All those things. They're true. You don't realize what the freedom to be selfish is until you don't have it. And sometimes you just want a taste of that back again. Yes I will get it again but there are some nights when I'm sitting in the recliner unable to sleep that this weighs me down a bit.

That's my update on me haha. Yeah kinda heavy but I just felt I wanted to talk about it a little. Even if just that I re-read this someday and laugh. I mean, think about it. Give it 20 years or so with both kids out of the house potentially. I'll be saying oh how I miss those newborn days when I could just cuddle 24/7. LOL. I'm not going to continue updating my weight because now it's not really pregnancy related; it's general. (I definitely lost all the pregnancy weight but won't deny my body is still shaped differently. I haven't really talked a lot about that part anyways other than to say I'm wider for sure.)

4 weeks

Sleep deprivation is really starting to catch up with us. Dave helps out with a shift a night because Nathan really isn't going down unless he's in our arms for the most part. Plus even if he's in his crib he's so noisy that I don't sleep well. Sleep deprivation is affecting Neil as well. He used to sleep so well and sleep through a lot but he doesn't sleep through Nathan crying. So we actually get Nathan a lot faster than we used to get Neil. Sometimes the babies if they aren't all out crying will settle back down. I still remember Neil fussing, fussing, fussing, passing gas, and settling down to sleep by himself. We haven't allowed Nathan to do that yet because we're afraid he'll wake up Neil.

Nathan doesn't soothe himself to sleep yet. It's early for that and I'm realizing I really don't remember what it was like with Neil. I thought he was sleeping longer periods and in his crib by this point but Dave doesn't think so. The only times Nathan has fallen asleep for me so far are mostly when I've nursed him and a few times as I've held him.

Nathan's first bottle

We still do the same bedtime routine with Nathan; change diaper, put on pajamas, swaddle, then nurse. Then one of us holds him to make sure he's sound asleep and tries to put him in the crib. Some nights it works; others it doesn't. He lasts an hour or two in the crib. I've tried putting him back in the crib but each subsequent time he lasts less. I still have the Rock N Play by my side of the bed, but I prefer the crib in another room where I hear maybe a little bit less of all the newborn sleep noises. Newborns grunt, sniff, etc. a LOT!

They say sleep when the baby sleeps but I'm such a light sleeper I have a hard time during the day as well. There's light. There's more noise from neighbors. I'm so pathetic myself when it comes to sleeping.

Neil also brought home another illness. He got some kind of stomach bug. This meant he needed a lot more attention and he missed 3 days of daycare. The first one we held him back because he had thrown up overnight. Then they sent him home because of diarrhea. We had some major issues and were told he can't go back to daycare until 24 hours have passed without vomiting/diarrhea. So that ended up being 3 days. We wouldn't have sent him the 2nd day but he seemed fine overnight and in the morning and hadn't thrown up since Sunday night in the middle of the night. Nathan also caught it, and so did Dave and I. It was harder to tell with Nathan how long it took to get him over it but we couldn't do anything for him and felt so bad!

I think I cheated but Nathan has rolled from front to back now. This is super early. But he did it 4 times in a row the day he turned 4 weeks. I say I cheated because he seems calmer during tummy time if I put his hands on either side of him so maybe that's allowing him to roll easier. But I had Dave watch and Dave agreed that he has rolled over.

This is a series of pictures as he rolled over one of the times. I ran out of memory on my phone so I couldn't take a video. And the middle picture is blurry.

I am 1 pound below pre-pregnancy weight! So now my goal is to get below my pre-pregnancy weight with Neil, which is another 2.5 pounds. Then it will just be eventually trying to get to my goal weight, which is actually 12 pounds down total from where I am now. But my body hasn't seemed in the past to like that weight very much. Even when I was running I stayed steady about 9 pounds over my goal weight. I also took some pictures of myself, I think I do have a stomach still but have been getting some compliments that it doesn't look like I've had a baby. I do not fit into my pre-pregnancy pants but I do fit into the bigger ones I bought and wore for a little bit at work after having Neil.

Not the greatest picture but I was trying to show a side profile. I think I angled too much though for this.
Plus the jeans might be holding me in a little bit.

BTW I am still doing monthly pictures but instead of doing a long monthly post, as long as I'm doing the weekly posts, I'm just going to make it some of the pictures we take plus some stats, for the monthly post.