2 years and 1 month

I have been extremely negligent with my blog. It's partly being tired, partly not having a desk/desktop computer set up, and partly all this adjustment. Anyway, I think I'm going to continue the monthly posts on Neil although this month it's literally thrown together at the last minute.

Unfortunately, we are dealing with the terrible two's in full force. I am still blaming it on a combination of the age and all the changes that have taken place recently. Because of this I am not even attempting to get rid of the pacifier- he really only uses it when he's in his bed and knows that's the rule. And as soon as he falls asleep it's out of his mouth. He's lost it off the side of his bed (and not been able to get it where it's wedged), and it hasn't disrupted sleep so I'm not extremely concerned about it.

I am worried about how he's going to handle another change with a new baby but time will tell.

Since moving he is definitely in his toddler bed (not even the converted crib so we have that for the baby, yes!). Two things have happened there. One was that he fell out a few times despite the railing. I think it was 2 nights in a row and then he must have learned. The first night I was in bed and Dave was downstairs. When I heard the thump it woke me up and was so concerned (knew what it was immediately) that I was out of bed and in Neil's room hugging him with my 7-8 month pregnant body without even remembering I was pregnant. I didn't realize I could move that fast. The second is that now he definitely knows he can get out of bed and does at random times. We thought there would be no more "sleeping in" on the weekends but he now seems to (sometimes) stay in his bed when he's wide awake if he doesn't hear us moving around. But Dave now is getting ready in the morning and Neil wanders to where he is and asks "What's going on, Daddy?" or other cute things like that.

Terrible two's wise: Neil will not listen to us. At all. He apparently is an angel for the new daycare so I swear he's saving it up for us when he's home again! I also think it's partly an attention thing- with the moving we've been really busy unpacking and stuff and spending less time with him. In addition, there is a lot more for him to get into because we haven't figured out where to put things, etc. So there is a lot laying around and he has a knack for getting into it. I feel like all we do anymore is say no, and that that is also part of the problem. So we're working on it. Plus both Dave and I are pretty short on patience at this point.

We do time outs but I don't know if they're really effective. I try to get down on his level and talk to him but he ignores me. He ignores me to the point that I ask him to look at me and he refuses to make eye contact. And he's heard "listen to me" and "stop it" enough that he says them to us without prompting. So yes I'm pretty exasperated. And yes I know 3 is worse, so I'm dreading that as well. But seriously, what's with this attitude?!?! I had no idea a 2 year old could be this bad. For example, take a few days ago. Neil of course was not listening, doing something like standing on a dining room chair where he could have fallen and gotten hurt. Dave was telling him to sit down and he was just so defiant. I was in the other room and said, "Neil listen to your dad." Apparently he turned towards me (couldn't see him) and made a terrible face at me. All I knew was I said that and the next thing that happened was Dave saying "That's it, time out!" He's also sticking out his tongue pretty meanly at this point. Which I find a little less attitude or annoying than some of the things he's saying.

Along with that we do have temper tantrums that I just don't know how to handle. I can't understand him of course, as he's screaming. And he doesn't seem to want anything. I've taken to walking away but he follows me, still screaming. I can't get away. Usually eventually if I hug him he calms down but that doesn't work right away either and I'm worried doing that is going to teach him that having a tantrum will get him a hug, which is not something I want to reinforce. So that's a bit of a parenting loss there as well as far as how to handle that. The ignoring is not working. Trying to talk softly is not working.

This sounds so negative but it's really a lot of what's going on at home. We still have sweet moments. Neil goes back and forth between wanting to be carried (and mostly by mommy) and wanting to be independent and walk himself. I have always kind of played with his hair and it helps him calm down. So now he plays with my hair (and that is so relaxing until he accidentally pulls it or something haha). He definitely loves both of us but I think we just have to work through these rough patches and reinforce that he's a good kid and we respect him. I am trying to make more of a concerted effort to pay attention to him and ask what he wants to do together.

Neil still loves puzzles and seems to be doing a lot of crafts at his new daycare. He also still loves singing songs and is learning new ones at daycare. We don't know them so sometimes it's hard to figure out what he's singing. And we've found a new "game" by singing If You're Happy and You Know it and substituting clap your hands with things like "eat a blueberry".

When we go to a restaurant we offer to Neil to choose either a booster chair or a high chair. He really hates the booster chair at restaurants for some reason and throws temper tantrums about it. So surprisingly, although he exclusively uses a booster chair at home (and insists on climbing in and out of it on his own) he opts for a high chair at restaurants.

Potty training has stepped up a bit. I'm not sure if it's partly because he used to sit on the potty at his old daycare so now he does it more at home. But he is getting to the point that when he has to pee sometimes he will hold it and tell us and as soon as he sits on the potty chair he will pee. Every time he does that, he claps his hands really excitedly, which is cute. He doesn't really poop on there. I'm not sure if he doesn't know ahead of time or what but he'll tell us he needs to go after he poops in his diaper. I still think we're not ready for 100% potty training; his diaper is wet in the morning and he doesn't consistently request the potty chair. Oh and I also bought him a Baby Bjorn because he was spraying and that seems to help a little more to contain it when he pees. Thank goodness.

His schedule has also kind of shifted- they nap earlier at daycare. We still start bedtime routine at 7pm and he's in bed between 7:30-8 depending on the night. (We give him a bath a few times a week, not every night.) He wakes up usually between 6:30-7am. We have some kind of breakfast shortly after. Lunch is at 11am. Then he goes down for a nap between 11:30-12:30 or so. The nap time itself varies a lot but generally is at least an hour and at most 2 and a half hours. After he wakes up he has a snack (time varies, usually based on his request) and then we eat dinner most nights around 5:45pm.

I do not have any of the stats this time- clothing/diaper/shoes have not changed and I didn't weigh him. I do think his cheeks are getting more chubby though! And he's still eating really well.