National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness

In October 1988 Ronald Reagan declared October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.  He said, "When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses his or her partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn't a word to describe them." October 15th was declared by Robyn Bear as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day to set aside a special day to remember our lost ones. In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, Bear suggests on her website that grieving parents light a candle at 7 p.m. in their respective time zones to create a wave of light around the world in memory of babies lost to pregnancy and infant loss.

I plan on lighting a candle this year and will remember not only our losses but the losses of my friends and family. I didn't recognize this month or holiday last year because it was too hard for me.

I discussed some techniques I use to calm myself down during my current pregnancy but here are some mantras I came across on the internet that might also be helpful to anyone trying to get pregnant or currently pregnant.

1. “Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.”
2. “I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise.”
3. “My past does not dictate my future. A previous miscarriage does not mean I will have another miscarriage.”
4. “Just because a friend/relative is having a miscarriage, does not mean that it will happen to me.” Miscarriage and pregnancy complications are not contagious, only fear and stress are.
5. “Hope does not make bad things happen.” You cannot “jinx” your pregnancy by getting excited or telling someone. Live in the positive.
6. This is the hardest: “There is nothing I can do to prevent a miscarriage from happening.” Worrying yourself sick doesn’t prevent a miscarriage. “And if (gods forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive.”