Pregnancy and Infancy Loss Awareness Day

Once again this year I will be lighting a candle in honor of those babies lost during pregnancy or infancy. Here is my post about it last year. My intention is to light a candle every year at 7pm even if I don't explain why. I'm not sure if we will explain to Neil. Regardless of what gets said though, I will never forget.

My thoughts and prayers are with every one of you who have experienced this.

Since this didn't post as I meant to first thing this morning, I'd also like to pass on an article that really expresses how I feel about our losses and worded things a lot better than what I've attempted (and not posted).

A Mother With a Candle to Light

One last pregnancy collage

Thanks again to Colleen who put this together!

Pregnancy Pictures - one month

I meant to do this earlier but um yeah we've been a little bit preoccupied.

This is a picture of me with a lot less of a belly and the baby in my arms.

1 month post partum

Trying to pose the same way I did in the pregnancy pictures

39 weeks 2 days, my last pregnancy picture (had Neil at 39 weeks 5 days)

Nursery

So this one is long overdue. But I still wanted to get it up here. Dave did most of the end work getting the nursery ready and we love it. The decals were something I found on Etsy and sent to Dave as a joke but thought were really cute so we ended up going with them.

The decal! Alien invasion

The accent wall and a touch of blue in the nursery

The crib with the decal behind it

Another view of the changing table/dresser on the accent wall

Some extra aliens we bought and our black out blinds

The camera above the door (we use that for the monitor) and extra aliens the Etsy seller sent

Neil's birth story

It's appropriate that I'm writing this a week later.

So last Monday in the morning there was freezing rain and our plan hadn't been touched. Dave and I both stayed home (I worked from home). I had planned to go in at lunch when roads were better and then I wouldn't lose any working time. Dave drove in around 9am when the roads actually looked better. But I got a really achy back pretty early on and did most of my work from the couch with the laptop in my lap.

Around 4 or so I started feeling this pressure on my lower stomach area. It felt a lot like when I had an ultrasound less than a week before and they were pushing down really hard trying to get his head measurements. I actually told Dave I thought I might be have very early contractions, and told him to just stay at work because if these were early we had a long time. I also decided to get on my treadmill- I walked about 1 mile in 30 minutes, just set it at 2mph with Friends on the TV and walked. I also asked a friend who's an OB/GYN nurse if these could be contractions and she told me to try to time them.

I was having trouble figuring out when they started and stopped. It seemed like they were very long with a short break in between. Walking definitely felt better even though I kept it slow.

By the time Dave got home from work though it had spread around to my back and I was feeling it more. I talked to a few people on the phone and eventually called the midwife center. Everyone just said yeah you're talking through these (although I was consciously breathing through them too) and it's hard to time them so it's probably really early labor. The midwife told me to try to take a bath if that would help, and to take 2 benadryl to sleep off the early labor since at that point it was around 7:30 or 8pm.

Dave drew up a bath and I got in. I felt instant relief. But the water cooled off pretty quickly and my stomach was sticking out because it was too big. So I didn't last long there. After the bath, I had taken benadryl, and tried to get in bed. By this point I was moaning through contractions and preferred being in an upright position. So as soon as I lied down in the bed, another contraction came on and I think I pretty much jumped out.

I kept walking through these and telling Dave if these were early labor pains I was in big, big trouble and there is no way I'm going to be able to do this. I also said they were early because I could talk through them. Dave tried to tell me that I wasn't talking through them, I was talking in between them, but I didn't really listen.

Around 10:30pm I decided I needed to go to the midwife center. I was very discouraged, still thinking that I probably had at least 24 hours or so and how was I going to do this for that long... And I was figuring I'd go in, they'd check my progress, and send me back home. But I finally decided I needed to know how much progress I had made. When the midwife on call called me back, I had to hand the phone to Dave when I had a contraction and moaned through it. She agreed to let us come in and said to aim for 11:30pm and that they would meet us there.

The car ride was fun- I could not get on my back so I ended up on my hands and knees in the back seat. It wasn't like they talk about on tv- I wasn't yelling at Dave about bumps or telling him to slow down/speed up. I barely noticed anything around me as I kept having contractions.

When we got to the midwife center (around 11:40pm), it was a little wet out but not raining. My shoes were slip on and had fallen off in the car so I walked in without shoes. I didn't mind my socks getting a little wet. Dave didn't even realize because I wasn't doing a lot of talking at that point.

It took awhile to be able to get on the bed and check for progress but when we did, the midwife (Aoife) said I was 5cm dilated. That's halfway. It was a relief because it meant we weren't being sent home but at the same time the contractions had been strong enough so far that I wished I'd been further along.

For the rest of the labor, I had a hard time hearing things around me. I didn't even consciously do it but was just so focused on what was going on. I wasn't even sure for the most part what I said and everything just happened. At one point, I wanted to show Dave that I knew he was there and appreciated it but I couldn't voice that to him. So I leaned over to kiss his arm. Vanessa, the nurse, immediately tried to give me a towel so I could bite it. I guess women get the urge to bite and who better to bite than the person who put them where they are? (Haha.) I don't think I even explained what I was doing but I think I did tell her I meant to kiss him and wasn't going to bite.

I went from 5cm to 6cm in an hour and was really feeling the urge to push. You aren't going to REALLY push until you're 10cm but Aoife said if it felt natural to do it because our bodies know what to do. So I did and I progressed to 10cm in another half hour.

Finally came pushing. I have heard from a number of people that pushing is welcome because it's a change and you know the end is coming. Maybe it's because I progressed so quickly before that but I absolutely hated pushing. I just wanted to be done and that feeling was awful. I kept asking how many more pushes and saying I can't do this. They couldn't tell me how many more pushes (depends on me) and that I was doing great and making good progress. But it was hard to keep motivated. Every time I pushed they would say "you're almost there!" and I wanted to yell at them that they kept saying that. (In fact, I don't think I yelled AT them but I did say they just kept repeating that.) So I ended up pushing for an hour.

At 2:02am, less than 2 and a half hours after we walked into the midwife center, we welcomed Neil into this world. I was kind of out of it- they placed him on my stomach right away and cleaned him off on me, but everything was such a whirlwind at that point.

The midwife center does everything right there so you aren't separated from your baby.  We had to stick around for about 12 hours because I had tested positive for Group B Strep, and if something is going to happen to the baby it's most likely in the first 12 hours. My water didn't break until 24 minutes before I had him, though, so that really was only a 24 minute window for him to get it. That made my odds even greater. (I know that this will irk some people but I did refuse the treatment for Group B Strep. I just couldn't handle the needle.)

I delivered Neil without any drugs at all. They did give me a shot of pitocin afterwards to help stop the bleeding and deliver the placenta, but I barely registered that because of so much going on.

I'm so glad I was able to have a birthing experience without the IV and being able to talk about what I wanted. Aoife and Vanessa were great, and so was Dave. And I only yelled at him once! (I told him to shut up when he started trying to encourage and said you've run a half marathon, you can do this. The shut up was pretty mean... the way I said it.)

Aoife checking Neil's vitals

Dave changing his first diaper

Maternity Pictures

At exactly 37 weeks, Dave and I had maternity pictures done by Paul Meyer. He did our wedding pictures, the running pictures I've posted on here before, and other pictures, and we absolutely love the work of Paul and his wife, Cyndy.

We are getting 20 of them in an album and they will be touched up but I'm posting some of my favorites now, anyways. (I could use the touched up files once we have them.) We are taking forever to narrow it down to 20, and I want to get pictures out while I'm still pregnant.

We will also be doing a newborn shoot with them a few weeks after the baby is born. I can't wait!

39 weeks

I have been slacking on posting- I am going to try to get up two posts this week in addition to my weekly posts. First a post with pictures of the nursery (finally) and professional pictures we had done at 37 weeks.

Ok. It's official. I'm ready to have this baby in my arms and be done being pregnant! ;) This past week somehow in my mind I jumped ahead a week and when our neighbors asked when I was due on Sunday, I said this Thursday. Dave had to correct me and say, no, it's next Thursday. I was honestly surprised and really was thinking I had one less week than I did. It was kind of a bummer to have to mentally add another week on again.

And my hormones/emotions are crazy. I hate to admit this but one day at work I started crying for no reason. I swear. No reason. I was fine. Well, my manager asked what was wrong. But nothing was wrong! And I still just burst into tears. It makes me feel really crazy and ridiculous. And once I started crying I had a hard time stopping. I need help controlling this at work. It doesn't help that my feet are swelling up and stuff, and I'm on my feet a lot of the day, especially if I'm on the test floor.

39 weeks 2 days

We got an unexpected sneak preview of our baby! At my appointment this week my fundal height measurement (basically my belly) was more than 3 weeks off from what it should have been based on the week. In my case the baby was smaller than expected. There is a concern there about the amniotic fluid so they ordered an ultrasound. All is well and it was nice to see our baby although I can't wait to see him in person! And ultrasound pictures always look a bit creepy to me. Take a look at his little face- looks to me like the invisible man when he wraps an ace bandage around to show definition of his face. Oh and they confirmed boy. And said that his head is on the smaller side. But the amniotic fluid is fine; he has just dropped so the fundal measurement is decreasing now.

His face at 38 weeks and 6 days

I know it's hard to tell but those are two of his fingers and the technician said he was giving the peace sign.

How many weeks: 39

Size of baby: A watermelon and measures 37-38 cm or 14.6-15 inches, crown to rump length. Head to toe is 20 inches. The baby also weighs 3400-3450 grams or 7.5-7.6 pounds. (This is the last week in the calendar I've been looking at that has weight/crown to rump measurements. From here on out it's a guess and all depends on our baby and how he compares to other babies!)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I stayed the same so I'm up 30.5 pounds total. 

Maternity Clothes: All maternity clothes now. With swelling my maternity jeans feel tight now. I told Dave it's like when you put on snowpants over pants or something and feel really big. That's how just having jeans on is. So as soon as I get home from work, on go the pajama pants. And any friends who come over get to see me in either pajama pants or sweatpants. I'm past the point of caring. 

Gender: It's a boy!

Movement: I'm actually enjoying the movement now other than occasional jabs that hurt because this is a once in a lifetime experience and it won't be much longer that I will be feeling this. One thing that can be hard to describe is the way the big movements can make you feel. I've been thinking how to describe it. Sometimes it feels like he's twisting or something and I can feel it all the way up my throat. It's almost like it makes me nauseous but that's not the right word.  I have no idea how else to describe it other than that though.

Sleep: I wake up to pee a lot but fall asleep really easily and sleep soundly in between my pee breaks. And according to Dave I'm turning into quite the snorer.

What I miss: Walking normally. Reaching my feet easily. Turning over in bed easily. Moving around comfortably. And last but not least, beer.

Cravings: Ha ask Dave. When food comes up on TV I usually say, I want that. I'm so hungry in general.

Aversions: None. 

Symptoms: Well I'm pretty achy in general and tired. My gums aren't bleeding quite as much recently; that seems to come and go. 

Best moment this week: Seeing our baby again on the ultrasound. I still get nervous about things though and when they left and brought someone else in for additional measurements I definitely got nervous and was trying to just relax. When they do ultrasounds, they clam up once something might be wrong or off and having a different technician in taking more measurements without a lot of explanation was throwing a lot of red flags up to me! But I stayed calm and all is good. That's when we were told he just has a small head but it's not too small.

Looking forward to: Holding my baby in my arms. Getting to my due date. Every passing day is one more day towards seeing our baby in person!

His first Penguins jersey!

38 weeks

Alright I'm going to say one positive and one negative right now. I failed my Group B Strep test which has me worked up a bit even if I'm trying really hard to hide it and calm down. Group B Strep isn't bad for me but potentially bad for the baby- I guess a lot of us have this but if it's present during a regular birth (c-section wouldn't matter) then the baby can be exposed and the results can be bad up to being lethal. To improve the odds (but it doesn't guarantee anything), they give the mom antibiotics (and not orally).  However, that doesn't guarantee that nothing will happen to your baby and I'm reading online that there can be late onset group B strep which can happen whether or not you have a positive or negative test. The midwife center has agreed, though, that instead of giving me an IV I could choose the option of a shot every 6 hours. Either of those options honestly has me feeling sick and I'm trying really hard right now to just avoid the topic in my mind altogether. Anticipation is the worst for me and I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this one.

On the plus side though, he is definitely head down, engaged, and dropping. They measure your fundal height (basically your belly) and that is decreasing, which means he is dropping. I can definitely tell when I walk and biking is done for sure until I'm cleared for exercise afterwards; it's just too uncomfortable at this point.

Speaking of biking, I have tried to up exercise although I definitely feel it and overdid it earlier this week. Even though I was sick, our weather was awesome (in the 60's) so Dave and I walked the neighborhood together. Then I did it again the next day while talking to my friend Colleen and I overdid it. I was so sore, and in parts of my body I never knew could be sore. ;) But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop walking; I just need to not go as far from now on. I didn't use my Garmin watch but I think I did about 2 miles and our neighborhood is extremely hilly. It was really, really nice to talk to Colleen though. I miss my running buddy so much!

38 weeks

Showing the belly a little better

How many weeks: 38

Size of baby: A watermelon and measures 36-37 cm or 14.2-14.6 inches, crown to rump length. Head to toe is 19.5 inches. The baby also weighs 3200-3250 grams or 7-7.2 pounds. The midwife center estimated that the baby is at 6 and a half pounds.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I gained 4 pounds so I'm up 30.5 pounds. Let me say, I am NOT happy about the weight gain. I made it a point to talk about at my 38 week appointment and she said it's ok. I'm hungry a lot and that's my body saying I need more food for energy/whatever, and try to eat healthy things instead of junk. And it probably isn't helping that I'm not really exercising. Also, the midwife noted that I seem to be swelled up so I must be retaining water and stuff.

Maternity Clothes: All maternity clothes now. 

Gender: It's a boy!

Movement: There is still a lot of movement and I'm about to nickname him Thumper. I still wish I could see what's going on in there. The midwife at my appointment said he's very long and last week the comment was that he's all twisted up in there. I guess that's because of the length. Poor kid! I keep saying he just wants to get out of there at this point, I think.

Sleep: I realized that part of my miserable sleeplessness has been this cold that I can't take medicine for (or at least anything that will have an actual affect). The past two nights I've actually slept so much better. I still wake up to go to the bathroom or if there's a really big kick from the baby, but when I'm sleeping it's a very sound sleep. I'm so thankful for that. I'm still pretty tired but not outright exhausted. Also, I have to say- I'm having crazy dreams! Last week I dreamt that he stretched his leg out of my body (but didn't break skin or anything) and it was so realistic. Now I'm starting to dream that I'm having contractions. It feels realistic and when I wake up I lay there for a few minutes just to make sure I'm not having contractions.

What I miss: I am so looking forward to my first beer after the baby is born.

Cravings: I'm just hungry in general.

Aversions: None. 

Symptoms: My gums are bleeding a lot now. My back and neck crack easily, I think all my bones are just settling or something. I pee a LOT now. I'm achy and riding in the car for a decent amount of time (like my commute home) leaves my back pretty achy. I definitely feel emotional, too. But with all that I do feel a lot better now that I'm not fighting this darn cold.  

Best moment this week: My coworkers had a cake and presents at one of our meetings. I didn't read the card right away but it made me tear up. They are so thoughtful and I was surprised.Oh! and #2 we had maternity pictures done. I felt miserable, I can tell I'm kinda tired in them, and I can see as the pictures progress that I'm losing energy ha but the photographer (Paul Meyer, who was also our wedding photographer) did an amazing job. I will have some of those in a future post. I promise. Even if it's not until after the baby is here, depending on how much longer I have.

Looking forward to: I want to say meeting our baby again and since it's my blog that's what I'm going to say. This might end up being a broken record until he's here! 

37 weeks

So guess what?! I'm full term now! This means if I go into labor I can go to the birthing center (up until now it would have been hospital). Not that I really have any indication that labor will happen soon. I'm getting to the point though that I'm getting really tired of this and so ready to meet our son! It will be nice to have my body back even if takes some time to recuperate. And things are knocking me on my butt, I am just getting tired so so easily.

37 weeks 2 days

And with it being January it's hard to not get sick. This week I've been struggling with a cold- sore throat, stuffy nose, etc. Blech.

How many weeks: 37

Size of baby: A watermelon and measures 35-36 cm or 13.8-14.2 inches, crown to rump length. Head to toe is 19 inches. The baby also weighs 3000-3100 grams or 6.6-6.8 pounds. At my appointment the day after I hit 37 weeks (so 37 weeks 1 day) she estimated the baby's weight around 6 pounds or so.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I gained 1 pound so I'm up 26.5 pounds.

Maternity Clothes: All maternity clothes now. 

Gender: It's a boy!

Movement: I think I'm actually getting used to there being movement. It still wakes me up at night and I see my stomach rolling all over the place. He also seems to get hiccups a lot- at least daily. I joked with Dave that I try to hold my breath but it doesn't help. Often when he gets hiccups it also makes him move around a lot- it seems like he's trying to stop them and finding them annoying too. ;)

Sleep: I think I'm doomed for no more good night's sleeps until the baby is sleeping through the night which will be at least months away. Most nights I just end up getting up out of bed to try to distract myself. I'm achy, have a hard time getting comfortable. The baby moves and wakes me up. But that's a catch 22- I've also jolted awake realizing I haven't felt him move and then I can't sleep because I want to feel him again. Go figure!

What I miss: Aw I really miss running and exercising. Just a few more weeks!!! I have even given up for the most part walking up the stairs at work at this point. 

Cravings: I kind of want fruit. And chocolate is starting to sound really good right now.

Aversions: None. 

Symptoms: Same old stuff- achy all over, and tired. But now I can add on- I feel really bad for Dave because it feels like I'm making up for 8-9 months of no PMS all right now. I feel really really moody, cranky, and even snapped at him for no reason over email at the height of me being upset. I'm prone to crying easily- just talking to a friend at work about how ridiculously moody I am, I had to blink back tears and I don't even know why I felt like crying! I know I can be emotional to begin with- someone help me figure out how to get this under control. Either people in general don't talk about this or I'm way too far on the moody side.

Best moment this week: Right now I enjoy weekends and just chilling on the couch. Haha. I've been feeling sick so I'm going to use that as an excuse as well. And they talk about nesting- that still hasn't hit me at all. 

Looking forward to: Meeting our baby! I know it's likely it's going to be a few more weeks but I can't wait for Dave to be holding his own son in his arms. I love that Dave has felt him move but it will be nice for Dave to experience the baby in the same way I am. And Dave is going to make such a good Dad; I can tell already.

Baby Shower

Dave's sisters threw a baby shower for me and it was really nice. You could tell they put a lot of time, thought, and effort into it and I really appreciate everything they've done for us.

I don't like being the center of attention, so I was really nervous for the shower actually. And it turns out I got some kind of flu or stomach thing before- so badly that I thought I was going to miss the shower. My mom came to stay with us overnight and I actually called her to tell her she might not want to stay with us. But she brought Gatorade and some pregnancy approved medicine and I was feeling more normal the day of the shower. I'm really surprised how I felt didn't show in the pictures, and happy about that!

The restaurant where the shower was at was set up for Christmas, which ended up being really pretty! I never thought about mixing Christmas and baby shower. The shower colors were blue and white, and Dave's sisters had everything matching.

The place setting at the shower. The centerpieces were Christmas trees filled with blue and silver wrapped Hershey's Kisses. The blue Hershey Kisses had a sticker on the bottom with little feet and the date.

With the hostesses, Dave's sisters

Everyone kept saying I didn't even look pregnant. So I posed in front of the Christmas tree
and  put my hands around my stomach so you could see, yes, I do have a belly! ;)

With my mom and the balloon that is still filled with helium and in our living room

Dave's sister made the cake, it was delicious! And this is my absolute favorite picture of myself from the shower.

Dave showed up early to help take presents out to the car and got to help open.
It was nice to not be the only one sitting up there by myself. I definitely relaxed more.

Dave had fun helping open- we tag teamed with cards and presents and
he got to play with some of the toys and other presents (in this case a basket).

Mommy to be and Daddy to be, in front of the beautiful fireplace

Thanks to all our family and friends who were there. I wish I could have had more time to actually talk to everyone, but things like this just fly by and can be a bit overwhelming for me. I tried to make a point to say hi and hug everyone and also got a picture with most of the people who were there. And seeing everyone just reminded me what good friends and family we have and how much I love you all.

36 weeks

In one of the books I have (with weekly updates) it suggested using a band aid for a belly button if it's sticking out. I have to admit I'm a bit embarrassed about my belly button so I'm starting to try this trick. The worst part is, my belly button still sticks out a little even with a band aid on! But it's better than nothing. The weird thing is, it's still an innie when I lie down (unless the baby kicks there and then you see it push out, which can be pretty amusing to watch).

I have skipped a few items that some of my friends report on every week because either they won't really change much or it's something I think is too much information for a public blog. I'm going to comment on those, once, with 4 weeks out from my due date. (What made me think about this is talking about my belly button- that's one of the items I skip.)

Labor Signs: This is one of my TMI categories. I will say I have not had any labor signs at all, although the baby is head down which is good. But I'm not even feeling braxton hicks contractions. I will talk about anything related here in the first few paragraphs each week but for the most part you aren't going to hear about dilation, effacement, or things like that. And actually at the midwife center they only do the internal exams if you request them which I probably will not do, until you go past your due date. So I'm not even going to know some of that stuff.

Wedding Rings: This one is whether they are on or off. Mine are still on. If I've had swelling it's been pretty minimal so far. I don't see this changing too much so I won't report on this- if I can't put them on anymore I'll probably mention it in the first few paragraphs.

Stretch Marks: I don't have any that I can see but I still have 4 weeks! This is another one I probably won't say much about from week to week.

Showing: I figure a picture is worth a thousand words! Although it might have been funny to hear me continue to say that I think I'm showing but everyone else says I'm not and then compare that with pictures from later months as it finally dawns on me that I really wasn't showing when I insisted I was.

36 weeks 2 days

How many weeks: 36

Size of baby: A honeydew melon and measures 35 cm or 13.8 inches, crown to rump length. Head to toe is 18.5 inches. The baby also weighs 2850-2950 grams or 6.3-6.5 pounds. 

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I gained 2.5 pounds (OOPS) so I'm up 25.5 pounds.

Maternity Clothes: All maternity clothes now. 

Gender: It's a boy!

Movement: I'm still feeling a lot of movement and you can see it a lot as well, even when I have a sweatshirt on. Tigger still likes to lay on my belly and I can see her moving from the baby kicking but she just sits there and purrs.  

Sleep: Well most of the week I was off work and sleep works well. I wake up a LOT during the middle of the night but then I was able to sleep in. The last two days I have gotten up early for work and it's so much harder than before Christmas! I'm still waking up at night; like wide awake/eyes wide open/can't go back to sleep and then my alarm goes off way too early. Honestly, I'm just glad I have about a month left of this and then at least I'll have 12 weeks off before having to deal with the alarm clock again. I know after the 12 weeks I'm still going to have this sleep issue but for different reasons, and I'll deal with it again then. 

What I miss: Being comfortable in general. I groan and grunt a lot wiggling around on the couch trying to get comfortable or to get off the couch. I also posted my year in review and re-reading some of my running posts made me really miss running again.

Cravings: Not really anything. I would love another peppermint milkshake from Chick Fil A though, if they're still available.

Aversions: None. 

Symptoms: I'm really tired, very achy, my hips and back are both sore. My stomach feels really big although I still get comments that I don't look like I'm less than a month away. 

Best moment this week: I have a sentimental one. I'm bouncing between being excited and being nervous about all this responsibility but really wanting to meet our baby. We had a newborn care class and towards the end, I was sitting there and kind of tired, so I reached over for Dave's hand and we held hands for a little bit. Lately my hands have been warmer (and I've in general been warmer- guess I should list that as a symptom too) but for some reason I was a bit chilly and his hand felt so nice and warm. I just sat there thinking about what we've created and about how much I love him and he's such a great husband even when I'm being a sensitive monster right now (sometimes) haha. 

Looking forward to: Weekly appointments and I'm hoping to get on the bike a few times to exercise. I think I'm gaining more weight now because I'm not really exercising much at all.

Baby Pool!

Dave and I set up a pool for the baby, to guess things like birth date, weight, height, etc. We did it just for fun; we're excited about this and it will hopefully help to pass the time a little these last few weeks.

Here's the link for anyone interested in guessing! It's public.

Click Here for Dave and Jen's Baby Pool!

http://www.babyhunch.com/poolpage.php?poolid=0ca3088fb10aef44d5e7190f7e5154e4

And here's your first hint unless the ultrasounds were wrong:

35 weeks

35 weeks along and 35 days left to go!

This is really starting to fly by and I'm starting to forget when people ask what week I'm at. I used to know just off the top of my head but now I have to think for a few minutes.

Earlier this week I made myself kind of a nervous wreck. This baby is very active, and I'm used to feeling him move around a lot. At night he didn't move at all and hadn't moved before bed, either, which is pretty unusual. I even tried pushing around on my belly, which will usually get him moving and nothing. I got up and did the things they say to do- empty bladder, have a drink or something with sugar, and lie on your left side concentrating for movement. Still nothing. I was actually considering rolling over and telling Dave I wanted to go to the hospital to make sure everything was ok. And with my tossing and turning, he did eventually wake up. I was about to ship out my doppler to a friend who had a previous miscarriage so that she could use it (she's about 11 weeks along or so right now) but I pulled it out of the box and used it. It's weird- I had such an easy time before finding the heartbeat and you would think I would now because the baby is so much bigger but I had a hard time! I used to know where the heartbeat was but this baby has moved around so much, I wasn't sure. Plus at this point feeling his movement is a lot more reassuring to me than the heartbeat. All was well, though- and he more than made up for the lack of movement the next day.

35 weeks

How many weeks: 35

Size of baby: A coconut and measures 34 cm or 13.4 inches, crown to rump length. Head to toe is 18 inches. The baby also weighs 2600-2750 grams or 5.7-6.0 pounds. 

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I screwed something up in my weekly reports because I didn't gain 2.5 pounds (I gained less) this week but I'm up overall 27 pounds. (Last week I said I was up 24.5 pounds but I think I screwed up somehow and should have been up more overall than I said last week.) I might also reset it- at my last appointment she changed it so we're actually using my prepregnancy weight instead of the weight I was the day I got my positive test. Which means I'm actually up 23 pounds right now, not 27. Either way they aren't concerned at all. 

Maternity Clothes: All maternity clothes now. 

Gender: It's a boy!

Movement: Ok he is definitely making me feel like I'm in the movie Alien (or Spaceballs) when the alien pops out of the guy's stomach. I can definitely see movement through my shirt and it's just crazy!! Although he has shifted so he's head down, I still feel it kind of off to the sides and on my upper right side of my stomach, there is a limb there that really jabs me. I joked to Dave that he must have fingernails because sometimes it really hurts and makes me jump! And as I said above I'm kind of getting used to patterns and need to just relax if things aren't the same every day. (I think I was mostly nervous because I felt nothing at all for so long.)

Sleep: He is moving around so much that yes it keeps me up at night and wakes me up in the middle of the night. I still seem to fall asleep really quickly though and with being on vacation at least I'm catching up on sleep finally! It feels amazing. And is making me realize just how tired I've been. Don't ask me how I've been getting up consistently at 5:10am for work. No wonder there have been nights I fall asleep on the couch at 7:30 or 8:00pm!

What I miss: I miss having ab muscles and being able to move around freely. There are times my back just aches and I'm looking forward to feeling normal again, and like myself. And being able to do any exercise I want, including running, and push myself again! 

Cravings: No cravings this week- I've been pigging out with it being the holidays. I am definitely more hungry than I have been.

Aversions: None. 

Symptoms: Hmm... mostly what I've been describing above. Achy back, very tired, getting bigger and bigger. I don't think I'm swelling yet; I can still fit my wedding rings on easily and stuff. My feet do seem to get that tingly feeling a lot more easily than normal. 

Best moment this week: Christmas with the family and getting to sleep in. Not having to get out of bed when the alarms goes off has been so so nice. 

Looking forward to: More and more sleep (sense a theme here?) I love that if I want to take a nap, I can. 

Christmas Special, 34 weeks 5 days on Christmas

Trying to show the actual bump. 35 weeks

My cat likes to sit on my lap and put her arms around my belly. (This was Christmas morning at our house.)
Her ears are back because of the noise of the camera- she didn't seem to like that.

Pregnancy Collage

Thanks so much to Colleen, who has been telling me to make a progression picture of the bump. I keep telling her yes I need to do that but then I'm too busy/lazy (take your pick) and she took my pictures from each blog post and made a few of these herself. She is really good at manipulating pictures and does that a lot with her own pictures.

Anyway, it's missing the last few weeks because I'm still too lazy to mess around with it but here is week to week progression of my baby bump! It might be a lot bigger if you click on it.

34 weeks

This one is going to be short. I'm really late even writing this- we had a final push at work to try to get some testing done before the holidays (and the team is continuing over the holidays but I have to use vacation, they don't let us carry over). I'm actually writing this at 34 weeks 2-3 days and in the middle of the night because the baby is moving so much I'm not sleeping (but that will need to go in my 35 week post!)

34 weeks 2 days

How many weeks: 34

Size of baby: A butternut squash and measures 33 cm or 13 inches, crown to rump length. Head to toe is almost 18 inches. The baby also weighs 2350-2550 grams or 5.2-5.6 pounds. 

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I gained 1 pound so I'm up 24.5 pounds.

Maternity Clothes: All maternity clothes now. 

Gender: It's a boy!

Movement: He is definitely very active. He did move so his head is down now, yay! I noticed actually right around 33 weeks or 33 weeks 1 day, and the midwife confirmed it at my appointment. (She also showed me where/how he is laying and wow he's already so big, that just made me nervous about him coming OUT.) So now kicks are more up towards the top and in the middle. Although he still seems to shift to the sides but it's more in the corners now. I'm sure I'm not doing a very good job describing this.

Sleep: I have not been sleeping well. One night is ok but it's just because I'm so exhausted. And part of the sleep problem is work- for the most part I've been able to leave work at work but one night I woke up thinking about how to take care of an item and couldn't fall back asleep. 

What I miss: Good sleep! 

Cravings: I keep saying anything sweet but I'm still thinking I don't really have cravings. I've been loving my peppermint milkshakes from Chick Fil A. YUM.

Aversions: None. 

Symptoms: I'm getting bigger... And more achy... and more tired.

Best moment this week: Most of the week has been working and weird hours. But this past weekend was a Christmas party with friends and that was fun. They had it earlier (thank you!) so we were able to be home by my now bedtime of 9pm. As soon as we got home I was in bed and asleep. And one of my presents was these cute handmade burp cloths! I love baby stuff.

Looking forward to: Pretty soon I will be done with work for the year and I am so looking forward to being able to take naps. 

33 weeks

This past week was my shower, which was awesome and will get a separate post on its own. We also finished our "having a baby" class at the midwife center and I know now waaaayyy more than I want to about epidurals, spinals, and cesarean sections. The midwife center wants you to be informed, which I agree with, but I really wanted to say lalalala during some of the discussion and was squirming in my chair a little bit.

It was also a rough week. I came down with something that might have been the flu, I'm not sure. It was a really upset stomach, to the point that I actually was watching to call and say I think I'm too dehydrated now (to the point that maybe something needs to be done) and that I might miss both the shower and the class this past weekend. Thank goodness my mom showed up with some Gatorade and my stomach started calming down. But I had a pretty bad 24 hours or so, and lost 5 pounds in the process. 

33 weeks 2 days

How many weeks: 33

Size of baby: A durian fruit (whatever that is) and measures 31 cm or 12.2 inches, crown to rump length. Head to toe is 17.2 inches. The baby also weighs 2100-2250 grams or 4.6-5.0 pounds. 

Durian Fruit
Photo Credit: http://www.philamfood.com

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I gained 1 pound so I'm up 23.5 pounds.

Maternity Clothes: All maternity clothes now. 

Gender: It's a boy!

Movement: Movement in general is one of the best things about being pregnant. It's amazing to feel and know there's a little person in there. With that said, though, when you have an upset stomach, it is agonizing. I was laying on the couch moaning- my stomach already was terrible and I felt like I was going to throw up and the baby kept kicking and kicking, which made it that much worse! At one point I whined to Dave that if I can't handle this I'm never going to be able to handle labor, but my mom reassured me that the baby doesn't move much during labor (as in kicking, etc.). Being sick is bad enough without the added little person pounding away that you can't take off your lap or something like that!

Sleep: I have been feeling pretty nauseous in general and have been having a hard time sleeping. I do fall asleep quickly but then I wake up, most nights, and I just feel sick. I don't know if some of this has been leftover from whatever bug I had right before the shower, but I'm hoping it will lay off soon. I've tried Tums and they don't do a thing for me.

What I miss: Not being so darn tired! :)

Cravings: Anything sweet!

Aversions: None. 

Symptoms: Right now my big thing is being super tired.  I don't know if it's a combination of pregnancy and working long hours but I'm having a really hard time with that at the moment.

Best moment this week: The shower! It went off really well and was a lot of fun. I'm very thankful that Dave's sisters were willing to throw one for me and I'm thankful to the friends and family who made it, and missed the ones who didn't.

Looking forward to: It's the start of Christmas season- work parties, a friend's party, etc. I still need to buy presents, oops, but I'm really looking forward to hanging out with our friends and celebrating Christmas.