17 weeks

So, yep, now that my scheduled posts are done my blog has really slowed down! ;) I got used to a post going every day and other than these weekly posts, wasn't really writing any new posts. I'll get better about that. But, for awhile, I have guaranteed weekly posts at least. And I'll post here and there in between those.

Keeping it real and how I'm feeling... Hopefully this week I don't come across as too negative.

I'm actually talking to a few friends who are currently pregnant to get some reassurance (thanks, girls, if you're reading this). I have to admit, I just in general feel nervous. I'm well past my previous miscarriage points but I'm also aware of a good number of people who have had losses now or later. I guess that's the downside to talking to people who do understand this stuff because they've been through it themselves; you become more aware of other loss stories at every stage of pregnancy.

I already know I tend to get anxious very easily so I try to just take deep breaths and relax. Why am I nervous right now, though? I see a lot of people online and stuff who are as far along as I am. For one, they all seem to be showing, even those who are weeks behind me! I do know that this happens differently for everyone but it's still a bit nerve wracking. And yes, I should be enjoying the fact that I still am not REALLY showing. (Although I am finally gaining some weight, but still below pre-pregnancy weight. I have retired some of my tighter shirts because I do feel a bit self conscious in them, getting to the stage of looking like I've gained weight but not looking pregnant yet.) I know that this is my first kid, so my muscles will hold better, and that I was in fairly decent shape pre-pregnancy which helps as well. Plus I'm taller and have a decent sized torso, which also helps hide anything in there.

The other thing is lack of movement. I know that's early, as well, but again, the other women online who are as far as I am or even weeks behind seem to be feeling movement and I have to admit I'm a bit jealous. Smack me when I'm complaining about how the baby's kicks hurt and stuff, later in the pregnancy. Haha. I do have an anterior placenta and the midwife did say in order to feel anything I'd have to lay on my back and really focus. I've tried that but so far all I feel is my own heartbeat/pulse, nice and steady down there.

On the postive side though- I do have the doppler and I do use it, although still not on a daily basis. See, I do show some restraint, haha! I don't really feel pregnant and sometimes it's kind of hard to believe I am. I look at the vegetable/fruit that's listed as being the size of the baby, each week, look at my stomach, and can't believe there is something of that size inside of me right now. It's just amazing to think about.

And I definitely am gaining some weight. You can see it in the pictures I'm taking, if you compare them side to side. My jeans are finally getting a little tight. My work pants are still loose but they were looser to begin with.

I almost didn't post a picture.  This picture is 17 weeks and 3 days, and I really think all of a sudden in the last few days my stomach has gotten bigger!  So the difference between 17 and 18 might not be much since this is actually just around 17 and a half weeks.  But here it is. BTW other than this paragraph, this post was written at 17 weeks. Starting to REALLY show is making me feel better!

The shorts I have on do not have a button or zipper, on purpose. So yep, that's my belly!

Hopefully soon I won't be lifting my shirt. I think I'm pretty much to that point but Dave said it was hard to tell in the first picture, so here ya go! 

How many weeks: 17

Size of baby: An onion and measures 13.5 cm or 5.3 inches. The baby also weights 150-200 grams or 5.3-7.0 ounces. 

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I have gained 3(!) pounds this week so I am overall up 2.5 pounds. Keep in mind that's overall weight as of positive pregnancy test. Pre-pregnancy was still higher than that. I dropped weight after conception before I knew. I'm going to have to stop looking at the scale. I started doing that daily as a weight gain prevention tool about a year and a half ago. If you monitor weight in general, you can see an upward trend and stop it before it gets out of control. So right now it's a bit hard to watch the upward trend and not say, oh, I should watch my diet more, or I should up my exercise. ;) I know I'm supposed to be gaining and- ha- see my comments above, in some ways I'm looking forward to it! But it's still hard to break the mentality of "Oh crap here goes my weight." So I am going to start just weighing myself weekly for this update (and the midwife visits). If that doesn't help enough I'll limit it to my monthly midwife visits and stop updating here on a weekly basis.

Maternity Clothes: Like I said above, my normal jeans are getting a bit tight. I do have a pair of jeans that's slightly bigger and they're still falling down when I put them on. So now I'm in the in between stage for jeans. I've made up my mind to not wear some of my tighter shirts, but I definitely don't need maternity clothing yet.  

Gender: I will know the answer to this (if the baby cooperates) in slightly over 2 weeks!!! 

Movement: So I have tried several times to focus as I lie on my back and I don't think I feel anything. I have, at various times, felt something that I don't know how to describe. People seem to describe the early movement as fluttering or the feeling that a washcloth is being wrung out. I definitely don't feel anything like that. What I feel is kind of just pressure but it's constant pressure, in one little contained spot (usually on my left side which actually is also right around where I find the heartbeat pretty consistently with the Doppler). I can't say it's a kick just because it lasts for awhile. Could that be movement? I have no idea. A friend said to see if it gets stronger in the coming weeks and if it does, then it is! But it doesn't sound like anything anyone else has described. And it hasn't really been when I've been lying down either.

Sleep: I sleep like a log. :) Until I have to pee.  

What I miss: I signed up for the Steelers Gatorade 5K! As a runner!  It doesn't mean I won't walk but it gives me the opportunity to run if I want to. If I had signed up as a walker I would not be allowed to run the entire race.  So I can cross running off my miss list. :) Of course, I'm going to do this on NO running beforehand, since May. Oops. Maybe I'll get a run or two in between now and then.

So, I still miss beer and wine. That is going to be a given. After labor will someone please bring me a beer?


Cravings: Not really anything.

Aversions: Ummm... maybe still meat. I still have trouble thinking about eating a lot of that so... not sure if that's because it's an aversion or the reaction I had previously still in my mind. 

Symptoms: This week has been pretty good actually. I haven't felt as light headed. I'm sleeping really well. I don't really have any symptoms. This is why they say the 2nd trimester is the best, right?

Best moment this week: We ordered a crib this week! We had to special order it, so I'm glad we did this now. They said it could take 12 weeks to come in.

Looking forward to: Ok I started a count down. 15 days until our ultrasound! 15 days... I cannot wait to see our baby again.