Midwife vs. Doctor

Disclaimer: These are my personal opinions. If you disagree, it doesn't mean I think you are wrong. And it is ok to disagree but I want to talk about my personal decisions and the reasoning behind it. I don't mind answering questions but I get tired of hearing people tell me they disagree (and that my opinion is wrong) as if that's going to change my mind about this. I'm not writing this to argue, just to try to explain for those who have asked what my thoughts are and show that this was a well thought out decision.

When Dave and I initially discussed trying to have a baby, I decided that I want to use a midwife. It's actually something I've leaned towards my whole life based on my mom's influence and just listening to people who have had babies (with both doctors and midwives). 

I think pretty much anyone who reads this knows I have a pretty severe needle phobia. If not, just a little background. When I was younger (5 maybe) I had a lump in my neck that grew to softball/grapefruit size so my parents took me to the hospital. (Turns out it was a virus but apparently it was quite the process to figure out what the problem was and things like cancer were thrown around but eliminated.) When I went into the hospital, I apparently let them put the IV in no problem. But when I came out of the hospital, after the testing, etc., I wouldn't let anyone near me with anything sharp. I blocked/repressed the memories and don't remember much from that hospital visit, just bits and pieces not related to anything hospital wise. Since then, I kinda freak out when I have to get blood drawn, a shot, etc. I've gone to psychiatrists, a hypnotist, etc. I can talk about this more later, but even if I feel better about things, let's just say I'd prefer to avoid anything that isn't absolutely necessary when it comes to blood draws and needles. 

Just to illustrate how this does affect me- For example, when I have to get blood drawn, the night before (or nights before) I wear socks to bed. If I don't, I will dream that snakes are biting my feet.  When I was in high school I finally made the connection that this had to do with the phobia. My parents told me that when I was in the hospital they ended up drawing blood from my toes because I wouldn't let them draw blood from my fingers or arms anymore. (My toes are curling as I write this just out of nervousness.) I don't remember that at all but I guess my subconscious still does.

As a result, I'd like to go as natural as possible. Who knows, maybe the pain of labor will be bad enough that I won't mind an epidural needle in my back (at least you can't see it...) so I'm not saying I would never, ever get an epidural. But that kind of stuff freaks me out so I'd prefer to avoid it. I'm one of those people who would rather get the flu than get a flu shot. Stupid, yes. But this is not something I can change, and believe me I've been trying. Hopefully going to a hypnotist WILL help. It was starting to help me relax but with the miscarriages I reverted back to almost where I was before going to him.

These are the reasons I have opted to go to a midwife instead of a doctor:

1. They are less likely to force/vehemently suggest procedures on someone. They might recommend a procedure but you are generally in more control of the decisions. They are very willing to discuss the positives and negatives, and if it's necessary, yes, you have to do a procedure. And this doesn't mean a doctor isn't going to be the same. But I have not been comfortable with any of the doctors I've worked with so far. I'm very comfortable with the midwife center.  For example, with the miscarriages, they will typically draw blood afterwards every few days (I think) to make sure your hormones/hcg levels go down to normal. I asked them if that was the main reason for the blood draws and if there were secondary reasons and we talked about this. I asked if they would be ok with me taking a home pregnancy test before we try again to make sure my levels are back to normal, instead of doing the blood tests. They said they'd recommend the blood tests still but if that's what I wanted to do it was fine and wouldn't hurt anything.

2. In Pittsburgh, the midwife group I am dealing with has a birthing center. As long as the pregnancy is low risk I can have the baby in the birthing center instead of the hospital. The big advantage (for me) to the birthing center? No IV! In the hospital they are required to put an IV in when they admit you even if at the time you don't need the IV. Whenever I have to get an IV it makes me freeze. I will not move. I imagine that will not be comfortable for labor. And I have no idea how much pain labor will be and maybe that will make me forget an IV. But I do know that I feel disgusting with the IV in and will just sit as still as possible and worry about that. I would prefer not to have to worry about it if possible.

With that said, I do have some concerns and this is the thought process I've gone through.

1. The midwives can't do a lot of things doctors can. For example, they are not certified to do a c-section if it were to be necessary. But they have multiple doctors associated who can handle any of that if the need arises. If everything goes smoothly, however, they don't use the doctor. I did meet one of the doctors with my second miscarriage and she was great. I will meet the other doctors during the course of the pregnancy. (BTW they are certified to deliver babies, etc. I should look up the specifics on that sometime. I have before but I don't remember all the details offhand.)

2. If you have a birth at the birthing center, you do not have a stay like you would at the hospital. I think at a hospital you would stay for 48 hours after birth, or something along that line. At the birthing center you can stay up to 12 hours after, but then you go home. I had some major reservations about this but started talking to people and I feel much better about it now. First, if you have the baby at the birthing center, things went smoothly. So that should mean you don't need extra attention or care. Second, yes, that means you have to care for the baby yourself from the getgo. But from what I hear you are getting poked and prodded in the hospital anyways and the baby could be there the entire time. I guess they also don't give a baby a bath but I think that will be the least of my worries when the time comes. And the more I thought about all this, with my aversion to doctors, hospitals, etc., I think I would be much more comfortable in my home/bed anyways. They follow up with a nurse the next day and I bet I'll have so many questions about what to do, that poor nurse.

3. I did wonder about the epidural. They can't do the epidural at the birthing center. Which, although I'd prefer to not deal with any needles if possible, I still do wonder if I'd want one when the time comes. This isn't the optimal situation but they said if you decide you want an epidural, they could do one but you would transfer to the hospital for that.

4. Along the same line as #3, a reservation I have about the birthing center is that if complications do arise, you might need to transfer from the birthing center to the hospital. Ha, while in labor and having contractions! But that is something I will just deal with at the time if it happens. It seems like they are fairly conservative about hospital vs. birthing center and will err on the side of hospital if there is any risk in the pregnancy. But at least going with the midwives, I do have a possibility of using the birthing center and no IV. I can't stress how important that is to me. It's worth dealing with the other stuff.

And yes I recognize that you really can't plan how this will all work out. But I would like to do anything that can make me feel less stress and anxiety about this whole process. My mom used a midwife for all three of us and all three of us turned out fine and she was fine afterwards. Midwives are certified, just not to the degree doctors are. But they are certainly qualified for what they do. If there is something that comes up that requires something they aren't qualified to do, there are associated doctors to take care of that. And it won't be some random doctor I've never met before.

It will be interesting after labor to see how my thoughts have changed or maybe not changed. So I promise afterwards I will talk about how I feel after having gone through all this. Don't worry, I'll avoid grisly details.

Also, one final thought. It really is about finding someone you yourself are comfortable with and trust. If I did not trust the midwives I have dealt with, I would not be dealing with them. And that is always going to be a personal decision based on differing personalities. Just because this is what I prefer doesn't mean it's the best idea for anyone else.